Couple X is sitting in front of me: both in their 50s, married for 30 years, the children are out of the house.
For several years now, sexual intercourse rarely takes place, and when they do bring themselves to do it, it is nice and pleasurable for both, but it is simply far too seldom.
He especially is hurt by this. They used to be a sexually curious and active couple and he still desires his wife.
She, on the other hand, has significantly less desire and can engage only very sporadically with his sexual invitations.
He thinks it is due perhaps to her being in menopause for around two years now.
She is put increasingly under pressure because she loves her husband and recognizes his needs, but simply no longer has any desire.
She can now no longer allow even hugs or cuddling, because she is always afraid that he will want more.
Both are hurting from the increasing estrangement.